My Story of Divorce

Marriage...for me it happened in 1992. Our son was 9 months old at our wedding. I was bound and determined not to run to the courthouse when I found out I was pregnant and get married. I mean come on we all know those couples that when you do the math that is why they got married. I did not want to rush the marriage as I wanted to do it in our own time. We went on to have a daughter in 1996. 2 kids one a boy and one a girl and we were complete. It was great we bought our very first trailer on 12 acres and we thought it was a mansion. We build and sell several houses for financial gain before settling down on our farm in 2007.

I was married to a very hard working man and together we built a successful business because prior to the kids and before starting the business we literally had rolled change to go to the grocery on several occassions. In 2005 I obtained my real estate license as it seemed for the line of work we were pursuing that would be a great move. The years were busy full of work as many know when you own your own business there are really not many weekends that you don't have to work either a little or alot. Life was good.

Our children played sports growing up so that made our lifes even busier especially with us coaching from time to time. We did it we pulled it off as we all do when you are in that season of our lives.

I believed I had a solid marriage. We rode 4 wheelers, took vacations, and spent time together as my parents loved having our kids alot. I was secure and happy.

Our first trouble started in 2006. As a woman you know when you get the gut feeling well I had it. With some research and detective work (I should really start my own PI service) I uncovered an affair and after persistance the truth finally was said by my husband along with admitting to an earlier affair when the kids were smaller. At that time we decided to go to a counselor which seemed to be a fix. The counselor stated he did not think this was a pattern or addiction so with that I felt as peace. Then we decided together to move to a farm and maybe this could be a new start for our family. And indeed it was things were great we built a house and barn along with having get togethers and family around. The kids loved riding their 4 wheelers and hanging with the neighbor kids. This was it this was our happy place. It seemed on the surface that we had recovered, regrouped and would be fine and go on to create our legacy for our family.

Then came 2014 and again here comes that dang gut feeling again. I did not overreact I just waited until I was positive. Positive came in March of 2015 as I was standing in the driveway with a common real estate client showing property. Right there (I can still remember where I was standing) he said it....my husband was having another affair. I left their so angry and so hurt because my husband assured me this would not happen again. The confrontation was raw and loud and sad. I screamed and I cried to my friends and family as it was all you could do at the time. I felt so alone and so scared. I did not want a divorce but there were only 2 choices: accept that this was how life was gonna be or leave. It took me from March until June to get the courage to file for divorce. I laid on my mom and dads couch the night before signing and cried I just did not know if I could sign these papers this is not what I want. I wanted the legacy the we have been married 50 years life. See you cannot tell someone when they are ready to leave they have to do it all on their own. Until you have had enough your family and friends cannot convince you to take the steps needed to save yourself.

I moved in with my sister lived in her basement then a rental for a year. They say don't make any major decisions the first year so I followed that rule. I went to counseling and learned so much and grew into a confident person.

It has been 10 years since my divorce and I could not be happier. I am now remarried to a wonderul man and we just celebrated our 2 year anniversary. We live on a small homestead and love all life has to offer for us.

There are many more shocking and disturbing details but those are not needed in my story. My story is not for sympathy, revenge or any other emotion. I simply want my story, my hurt, my devastation to help someone out there. Someone who cannot move on or forward. Someone who thinks they cannot start over and build a new life.

Please if you have anyone in your life that you think needs someone who has experienced the infidelity and someone who understands it is for sure ME! Please have them reach out to me.