Devastation...

Divorce is never easy, but when it unwanted-when one person is left standing in the ruins of a life they never wanted to end - it can feel like an emotional hurricane. When it is mutual it can be much easier on everyone and both parties are prepared for the transition but with an unwanted divorce it leaves one person blindsided, mainly grieving not only the relationship but the legacy of family they had envisioned.

For me, I was blindsided standing in a driveway with a client who shared what would be the beginning of the end for my marriage. My life would never be the same again after that moment. I believe divorce is like a death if not worse because I have heard it said the other person had a choice and they did not choose you. There is the initial shock followed by the denial and lastly the desperate hope that things can be salvaged. It takes some time to come to the realization that this is really happening. All that you know is now in the past, mutual friends drift away or take sides and daily routines built around a shared life collapse. You will ask yourself a million times where it went wrong and what you could have done differently. Please show yourself grace during these moments for some situations cannot be salvaged or changed no matter how hard you may have tried.

Divorce will reshape your social circle and this I was blindsided by most of all. For some reason in divorce people feel like they have to only be friends with one side. For me this was as painful as the divorce itself. It takes some time to work through this part of your life but when you do you realize maybe you need a different circle. For me I found many true and loyal friends in the years following my divorce. Some people just don't know how to navigate the new dynamic of your divorce so when I learned that concept, I truly understood their choices much better although it was still very painful.

The journey is long, and grief will hit you when you least expect it. You will struggle some days and then you will have good days. And with that as time goes on the struggle gets less and the good days are greeting you more often. Seek therapy and focus on personal growth with a new path forward. This does not define you or your future. New beginnings will come your way but be patient and heal.

If you or someone you know just needs someone who understands who can help them find the light and move forward, please have them reach out to me on this blog as my entire purpose of the journey is to help other women who once were stuck like I was and for them to find a way to build a new life and an entirely new purpose.